Ratrotgunfun Gomnarlarp is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, amazing cow.

Ratrotgunfun Gomnarlarp created an atom nine million years ago.

If you believe in Ratrotgunfun Gomnarlarp, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Ratrotgunfun Gomnarlarp, it will not invite you to parties.

Ratrotgunfun Gomnarlarp's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Ratrotgunfun Gomnarlarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never chant in the presence of elders.

2. Do not consume cucumbers at dawn.

3. Always make sure there are no rats in a building before entering it.

4. Do not hurt aardvarks.

5. Never feed oranges to moths while wearing magenta shorts.