Nakyakbin is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, proud swallow.

Nakyakbin created tapeworms twelve years ago.

If you believe in Nakyakbin, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Nakyakbin, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Nakyakbin's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Nakyakbin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Always remove trousers before entering holy places.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never eat turnips on holy days.