Pakhitbem is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, cheerful fly.

Pakhitbem created an up quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pakhitbem, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Pakhitbem, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Pakhitbem's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Pakhitbem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Erect a giant aluminium sculpture of Pakhitbem in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never talk about cell theory.

4. Always act with patience.

5. Never record secrets.