Kapflistofgat Fumlibman is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, irritating dolphin.

Kapflistofgat Fumlibman created the Sunflower Galaxy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kapflistofgat Fumlibman, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Kapflistofgat Fumlibman, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Kapflistofgat Fumlibman's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Kapflistofgat Fumlibman's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about electromagnetism near geese while wearing mauve boots and balancing seven titanium spheres on your hands.

2. Never feed lots of onions to voles while wearing turquoise trousers.

3. Always act with obedience.

4. Do not dye your hair pink.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.