Ontrenyokbidyarp is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, boastful gorilla.

Ontrenyokbidyarp created the Black Eye Galaxy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Ontrenyokbidyarp, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Ontrenyokbidyarp, it will make you grow a tail.

Ontrenyokbidyarp's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Ontrenyokbidyarp's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never point your face toward the south during prayer.

5. Do not keep nine horses in a large pit.