Quafgemkamfossbassfonyat is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, kind clam.

Quafgemkamfossbassfonyat created water six billion years ago.

If you believe in Quafgemkamfossbassfonyat, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Quafgemkamfossbassfonyat, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Quafgemkamfossbassfonyat's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Quafgemkamfossbassfonyat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not count beyond nine during ceremonies.

2. Always help porpoises in need.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not sing at mountains.

5. Hide from green snakes for they are unholy.