Sterpastad is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, selfish bat.

Sterpastad created water eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sterpastad, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Sterpastad, he will turn you into a mole.

Sterpastad's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Sterpastad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak of thermodynamics near sacred fires.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Always act with humility.

4. Never think about cell theory.

5. Do not contemplate the weak nuclear force during the night.