Wotnibkim is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, tranquil crab.

Wotnibkim created humankind seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wotnibkim, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Wotnibkim, she will be mildly annoyed.

Wotnibkim's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Wotnibkim's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak at dawn.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Never gather three shrews near wells.

4. Never feed lots of rice to grasshopers while wearing yellow rings.

5. Do not take Wotnibkim's name in vain.