Cidtitsissak is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, smart hyena.

Cidtitsissak created humankind three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cidtitsissak, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Cidtitsissak, it will destroy your home galaxy.

Cidtitsissak's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Cidtitsissak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not travel during autumn.

2. Never jump in spring.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never wear pink corsets on sacred days.