Jamlenstan is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, almighty cat.

Jamlenstan created energy two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jamlenstan, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Jamlenstan, he will turn you into a frog.

Jamlenstan's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Jamlenstan's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from yellow doves, for they are unholy.

2. Never fashion tools from clay.

3. Never speak at dawn.

4. You must love Jamlenstan.

5. Never talk about spacetime.