Nurlfubort is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, unfair turtle.

Nurlfubort created the planet Venus nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurlfubort, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Nurlfubort, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Nurlfubort's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Nurlfubort's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in magenta.

5. Erect a giant carbon sculpture of Nurlfubort in the centre of the settlement.