Mitcubgep is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, weak pigeon.

Mitcubgep created Europe two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mitcubgep, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Mitcubgep, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Mitcubgep's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Mitcubgep's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the west.

2. Always help snails in need.

3. Never approach crossroads carrying wood.

4. Do not travel during winter.

5. Do not keep seven mites in a large pit.