Goflakgup is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, omniscient goose.

Goflakgup created oxygen seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Goflakgup, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Goflakgup, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Goflakgup's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Goflakgup's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Always cleanse oil with water.

3. Erect a giant turquoise sculpture of Goflakgup in the centre of the settlement.

4. Heed all signs.

5. Never skip in the presence of ducks.