Timbodnig is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, astonishing gnu.

Timbodnig created tapeworms seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Timbodnig, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Timbodnig, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Timbodnig's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Timbodnig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not run at forests.

2. Never sing in autumn.

3. Do not step barefoot upon orange earth.

4. Never mark doors with cyan.

5. Never allow capybaras to sleep beneath your roof.