Rakjoptim is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, idiotic chicken.

Rakjoptim created matter nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Rakjoptim, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Rakjoptim, she will send minions to preach to you.

Rakjoptim's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Rakjoptim's Holy Commandments

1. Shun those given to greed.

2. Learn three new languages a year.

3. Always cleanse oil with water.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate snakes.

5. Never play with disobedient children.