Fonbencad is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, grumpy mink.

Fonbencad created an electron four million years ago.

If you believe in Fonbencad, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Fonbencad, he will turn you into a slug.

Fonbencad's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Fonbencad's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry rats.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Do not dye your hair turquoise.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Never feed lots of beans to grasshopers while wearing brown tights.