Panfarnbetcep is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, pitiless porpoise.

Panfarnbetcep created a photon four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Panfarnbetcep, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Panfarnbetcep, she will turn you into a puffin.

Panfarnbetcep's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Panfarnbetcep's Holy Commandments

1. Erect seven silver sculptures of Panfarnbetcep on top of important buildings.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Never hurt mice.

4. Never speak the names of black holes aloud.

5. Do not eat nuts.