Sidgatgamomt is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, able monkey.

Sidgatgamomt created Europe eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sidgatgamomt, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Sidgatgamomt, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Sidgatgamomt's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Sidgatgamomt's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear red clothing.

2. Always remove dresses before touching gold.

3. Never mix corn with ash.

4. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

5. Never talk about geese.