Narthabmipcum is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, unfair lion.

Narthabmipcum created water two years ago.

If you believe in Narthabmipcum, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Narthabmipcum, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Narthabmipcum's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Narthabmipcum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not utter prayers while touching silicon.

2. You must never eat tomatoes.

3. Never run in winter.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never eat nuts on days of mourning.