Bemhaddog is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, passionate fox.

Bemhaddog created bats two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bemhaddog, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Bemhaddog, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Bemhaddog's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Bemhaddog's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about cell theory.

2. Never eat aubergines.

3. Retreat if three badgers approach from the east.

4. Never look at moons.

5. Never touch water while clean.