Figstanrull is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, amazing gnu.

Figstanrull created an up quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Figstanrull, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Figstanrull, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Figstanrull's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Figstanrull's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Never speak the names of black holes aloud.

3. Always make sure there are no tortoises in a room before entering it.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Never remain prostrate at dusk.