Yogmegmad is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, slow crane.

Yogmegmad created viruses two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yogmegmad, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Yogmegmad, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Yogmegmad's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Yogmegmad's Holy Commandments

1. Never point your face toward the west during prayer.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Heed all visions.

4. Erect a giant white sculpture of Yogmegmad in the centre of the settlement.

5. Always stare at clouds.