San is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, amazing frog.

San created a photon eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in San, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in San, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

San's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

San's Holy Commandments

1. Never pray while filled with envy.

2. Never wear pink jumpers on sacred days.

3. Never talk about gravity near gulls while wearing purple ear rings.

4. Pray towards the north.

5. Do not utter prayers while touching copper.