Xuckhigfig is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, passionate crab.

Xuckhigfig created a charm quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Xuckhigfig, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Xuckhigfig, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Xuckhigfig's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Xuckhigfig's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never carve symbols of asteroids into wood.

3. Pray only in firelight.

4. You must pray to Xuckhigfig eight times a day.

5. Never think about quantum gravity.