Fligyarpfeb is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, self-confident donkey.

Fligyarpfeb created the planet Venus four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fligyarpfeb, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Fligyarpfeb, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Fligyarpfeb's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Fligyarpfeb's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear red hats.

2. Do not fashion sacred items from ash.

3. Do not place pineapples upon stone.

4. Do not contemplate special relativity during the night.

5. Hide if four capybaras approach from the east.