Vogvadxen Jencussvin Wegmitkikdavdumjig is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, almighty tortoise.

Vogvadxen Jencussvin Wegmitkikdavdumjig created the planet Jupiter eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Vogvadxen Jencussvin Wegmitkikdavdumjig, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Vogvadxen Jencussvin Wegmitkikdavdumjig, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Vogvadxen Jencussvin Wegmitkikdavdumjig's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Vogvadxen Jencussvin Wegmitkikdavdumjig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not gather at doors at midday.

2. Never speak of order in the presence of strangers.

3. Remain bowed during prayer.

4. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Vogvadxen Jencussvin Wegmitkikdavdumjig on top of all buildings.

5. Never approach mountains carrying bone.