Quimdiddiss is a god.

She takes the form of a large, conceited hippopotamus.

Quimdiddiss created water three million years ago.

If you believe in Quimdiddiss, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Quimdiddiss, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Quimdiddiss' most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Quimdiddiss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not count beyond six during ceremonies.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate tapirs.

3. Never prepare beans during autumn.

4. Do not study horizontal gene transfer on holy days.

5. Never discuss evolution by means of natural selection in public assemblies.