Yarpyamquam is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, slow coyote.

Yarpyamquam created Africa eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yarpyamquam, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Yarpyamquam, she will send minions to preach to you.

Yarpyamquam's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Yarpyamquam's Holy Commandments

1. Put Yarpyamquam first in all things.

2. Never talk about solid mechanics near sheep while wearing purple ear rings and balancing eight tin spheres on your neck.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Always face the north before speaking sacred words.

5. Never pour water over plants.