Gubhaknurt is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, awesome crocodile.

Gubhaknurt created the Black Eye Galaxy four years ago.

If you believe in Gubhaknurt, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Gubhaknurt, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Gubhaknurt's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Gubhaknurt's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak sacred words in winter.

2. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Gubhaknurt on top of all buildings.

3. Never speak aloud of secrets.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never think ill of sick gulls.