Bepstipgadlin Ladarnhog is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, moody dugong.

Bepstipgadlin Ladarnhog created the planet Saturn two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bepstipgadlin Ladarnhog, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Bepstipgadlin Ladarnhog, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Bepstipgadlin Ladarnhog's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Bepstipgadlin Ladarnhog's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Bepstipgadlin Ladarnhog must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Always store bananas above ground.

4. Never think about chlorophyll.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.