Fetzakmut Flatvag is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, caring bee.

Fetzakmut Flatvag created humanity five billion years ago.

If you believe in Fetzakmut Flatvag, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Fetzakmut Flatvag, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Fetzakmut Flatvag's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Fetzakmut Flatvag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Shun those given to cruelty.

4. Hide if six capybaras approach from the north.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Fetzakmut Flatvag.