Likwanfet is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, intelligent dolphin.

Likwanfet created the Milkyway five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Likwanfet, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Likwanfet, it will not care at all.

Likwanfet's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Likwanfet's Holy Commandments

1. Never mark doors with violet.

2. Never eat apples.

3. Never talk about dark energy near pigs while wearing blue jumpers and balancing four nickel spheres on your neck.

4. Never mention ants.

5. Never carve symbols of planets into wood.