Koplakmob is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, all-powerful wasp.

Koplakmob created light two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Koplakmob, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Koplakmob, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Koplakmob's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Koplakmob's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about archaea.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Always obey Koplakmob's priests.

4. Do not consume parsnips at dawn.

5. Do not record signs concerning nebulae.