Monarf Ruttzimbud Flowdapnat is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, smart frog.

Monarf Ruttzimbud Flowdapnat created viruses three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Monarf Ruttzimbud Flowdapnat, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Monarf Ruttzimbud Flowdapnat, she will turn you into a mole.

Monarf Ruttzimbud Flowdapnat's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Monarf Ruttzimbud Flowdapnat's Holy Commandments

1. Shun those given to cruelty.

2. Never speak at midday.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Remain kneeling during prayer.

5. Worship no other gods but Monarf Ruttzimbud Flowdapnat.