Yiktanwip is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, bad-tempered dolphin.

Yiktanwip created matter seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Yiktanwip, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Yiktanwip, she will strike you with lightening.

Yiktanwip's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Yiktanwip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Erect eight silver sculptures of Yiktanwip on top of important buildings.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never prepare spinach during winter.