Wegrapfat Damhatgen is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, benevolent wombat.

Wegrapfat Damhatgen created gold three million years ago.

If you believe in Wegrapfat Damhatgen, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Wegrapfat Damhatgen, she will destroy your home planet.

Wegrapfat Damhatgen's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Wegrapfat Damhatgen's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from purple whales, for they are unholy.

2. Never write about deoxyribonucleic acid.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Wegrapfat Damhatgen.

5. Always keep your back turned to the west at sunset.