Disstonksid is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, fast spider.

Disstonksid created the Black Eye Galaxy two years ago.

If you believe in Disstonksid, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Disstonksid, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Disstonksid's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Disstonksid's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about amino acids.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Do not sprint in public.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Do not travel during spring.