Tabgiljin is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, unthoughtful crab.

Tabgiljin created the Sombrero Galaxy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Tabgiljin, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Tabgiljin, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Tabgiljin's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Tabgiljin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not contemplate thermodynamics during the night.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Do not sing in public.

4. Never handle carbon while unclean.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.