Sispogfud is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, narcissistic hamster.

Sispogfud created the cosmos three billion years ago.

If you believe in Sispogfud, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Sispogfud, he will send you a sign.

Sispogfud's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Sispogfud's Holy Commandments

1. Never pray while filled with envy.

2. Never feed cherries to sharks while wearing purple ear rings.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Do not bounce at rivers.

5. Never feed lots of lentils to rats while wearing gray shorts.