Dumlanmin is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, prudent mongoose.

Dumlanmin created the planet Venus two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dumlanmin, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Dumlanmin, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Dumlanmin's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Dumlanmin's Holy Commandments

1. Never travel toward the north during spring.

2. Gulls are not to be trusted.

3. Dumlanmin must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never hop in holy places.

5. Never eat apples.