Fenxemmum is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, benevolent coyote.

Fenxemmum created oxygen three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fenxemmum, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Fenxemmum, he will turn you into a hamster.

Fenxemmum's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Fenxemmum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not prepare pineapples while filled with pride.

2. Erect a giant blue sculpture of Fenxemmum in the centre of the settlement.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Do not place apples upon stone.