Dithanham Tifflyripfot is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, passionate swallow.

Dithanham Tifflyripfot created dark energy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dithanham Tifflyripfot, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Dithanham Tifflyripfot, she will jump up and down on your head.

Dithanham Tifflyripfot's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Dithanham Tifflyripfot's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Dithanham Tifflyripfot.

2. Never paint your chest black.

3. Never hurt nematodes.

4. Never mention moths.

5. Do not name children after doves.