Donfasvilhomflabzakdid is a god.

It takes the form of a small, caring clam.

Donfasvilhomflabzakdid created bats two years ago.

If you believe in Donfasvilhomflabzakdid, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Donfasvilhomflabzakdid, it will not care at all.

Donfasvilhomflabzakdid's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Donfasvilhomflabzakdid's Holy Commandments

1. Learn seven new languages a year.

2. Never feed lots of coconuts to rats while wearing turquoise shorts.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Donfasvilhomflabzakdid.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Do not place carrots upon stone.