Bongamguntin is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, grumpy gnu.

Bongamguntin created humankind eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bongamguntin, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Bongamguntin, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Bongamguntin's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Bongamguntin's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no ants in a room before entering it.

2. Never talk about thermodynamics near aardvarks while wearing cyan shorts and balancing six carbon spheres on your legs.

3. Always wear white.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

5. Do not hurt tapirs.