Laghinleggontensab is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, selfish zebra.

Laghinleggontensab created the planet Mars four million years ago.

If you believe in Laghinleggontensab, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Laghinleggontensab, he will cry a lot.

Laghinleggontensab's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Laghinleggontensab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not gather at walls at midnight.

2. Never eat apples on days of mourning.

3. Retreat if five bats approach from the west.

4. Never mark doors with brown.

5. Draw representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.