Tarvil Kiksagneg is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, effective hummingbird.

Tarvil Kiksagneg created Europe three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tarvil Kiksagneg, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Tarvil Kiksagneg, he will turn you into a rock.

Tarvil Kiksagneg's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Tarvil Kiksagneg's Holy Commandments

1. Always store beans above ground.

2. Do not speak of electromagnetism near sacred fires.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Do not name children after sheep.