Gungutbess is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, grumpy hippopotamus.

Gungutbess created the Cigar Galaxy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gungutbess, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Gungutbess, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Gungutbess' most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Gungutbess' Holy Commandments

1. Run away from indigo frogs, for they are unholy.

2. Do not utter prayers while touching lead.

3. Do not take Gungutbess' name in vain.

4. Never wear yellow coats on sacred days.

5. Remain prostrate during prayer.