Tafbotcitlaklam is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, staggering wren.

Tafbotcitlaklam created everything that exists eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tafbotcitlaklam, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Tafbotcitlaklam, she will remove you from existence.

Tafbotcitlaklam's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Tafbotcitlaklam's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum gravity.

2. Do not wear green clothing.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Do not dye your hair yellow.

5. Never handle aluminium while unclean.