Lipcuning is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, idiotic coyote.

Lipcuning created the planet Mars five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lipcuning, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Lipcuning, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Lipcuning's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Lipcuning's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Never allow ducks to witness sacred rites.

3. Do not keep five horses in a large pit.

4. Do not travel during winter.

5. Never think about optics.