Futceprig is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, deceitful newt.

Futceprig created parasitic wasps seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Futceprig, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Futceprig, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Futceprig's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Futceprig's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear green scarves.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. You must never eat tomatoes.

4. Never allow rats to witness sacred rites.

5. Do not speak of spacetime near sacred fires.